Ramblings on a Charlie Sheen Interview

Norm

Anytime I stumble on a Charlie Sheen interview, I have to watch. As a matter of fact, in honour of his responses here are some semi-coherent ramblings from my thoughts on his interview tonight on 20/20. Maybe you’ll like them, maybe you’ll hate them, maybe you’ll find them amusing, or disturbing and suggest I seek help. Or maybe you just won’t understand them. Kind of like how you might feel about Charlie Sheen.

-Any time you can get you porn star girlfriends involved with your toddlers it’s a winning proposition

-One’s a nanny, those kids are golden!

-It’s funny how Sheen says he deserves privacy while including his toddlers in an interview.

-You don’t think of the kids while partying in front of them? This is shocking!

-If Charlie’s kids need his wisdom, I’m concerned. That’s like Jimmy Dolan needing Isaiah’s wisdom.

-Nope, drugs aren’t a part of their lives; they’ve been clean for 3 days! I fasted on Yom Kippur for one day, does that mean I succeeded in eliminating eating?

-I wonder if those women give the kids an STI by touching them.

-If this isn’t where Children’s Aid intervenes then what the hell do they exist for?

-His thoughts on Two and a Half Men: “Look what we’re giving the world.” A predictable sitcom? “You can smell the chicken pot pie and love.” You can smell the scotch and ambivalence?

-A three day party? What is he, King Ahashverosh?

-They sure proved Sheen wrong that they needed him because they cancelled it without him. Or would that mean they proved his point?

-If only I could dismiss my outbursts as a “passion for anger”

-With all this being said can’t they hook him up to cocaine machine. This show makes too much money to pass up.

-“We need money to make magic.” Those suitcases of cocaine don’t buy themselves!

-I think the mental anguish he’s suing for is cocaine withdrawal.

-Without Charlie Sheen, who would be the lead?

-Maybe he isn’t from our planet with his Tiger Blood and Adonis DNA, I think it’s just cigarettes, cocaine and vodka.

-Seriously, how many cigarettes has he smoked in this interview? It has to be at least 10. Anytime you can cut back on the cocaine and up your cigarettes it’s a good move.

-Who’s this guys doctor? He’s either watching this cringing or he’s high himself.

-For the record, I like Charlie Sheen. He’s willing to say what he thinks which is unfortunately rare. There aren’t many other people I can think of who I’d want to write about an interview of them.

-Two and a Half Men’s like the scrambled eggs of television. Easy to eat or watch, uncomplicated, no televison or restaurant critic will like it. That being said, a good episode or batch is always as enjoyable an experience as any.

-Charlie Sheen’s women aren’t yes men! They love him because he’s a winner. Doctors are losers.

-This doctor seems reasonable about treating addiction

-He’s not bipolar he’s biwinning! I think I heard that at a Kobe interview after the rape charges, or one of championships. I don’t think he’s bipolar, maybe schizophrenic based on the way he said shut up to himself.

-I do think these rehabs are bullshit, although it’s great to see what a hypocrite Charlie is.

-I agree with the doctor, you can’t diagnose from afar, those who do just want publicity. I’m looking at you, Dr. Drew.

-The doctor thinks Charlie can’t manage on his own. He’s not on his own, he has two women who are happily spending his money! And, um, maybe the toddlers can take care of him.

-He really thinks he’s a winner, maybe proves my points of winners and jerks. I have another point: anyone who calls himself a winner is severely insecure

-How can cocaine be awesome but now you’ll never want to have it?

-If anyone’s qualified to give thoughts on the afterlife, it’s Charlie Sheen

I think he’s bizarre, but I kind of like this Charlie Sheen. He’s doing things his own way and I’m tired of these celebrities doing bad things and apologizing and going through rehab and doing the same things behind closed doors. I like people who stand behind their actions and are open about them. Charlie Sheen certainly is both.Whatever happens next to Sheen, I would like to watch. Although I’m not sure about Major League 3, that sounds fucking awful.

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