End of the Road

I wrote this note for one primary reason and that is to give you all a little heads-up for a series I’ll be doing here and on the Two Guys blog about whether high school players should be allowed to enter the NBA and also discuss early entry. It fits well into this time of the year as many of the top collegiate underclassmen have to decide whether to go back to their schools. A lot of people want to call a player “smart” for going back to school to developing their games but I’m going to make the case that it is actually not smart to do that and the smartest players, contrary to popular opinion, are those who entered as early as possible–not only from a money perspective.


I lucked into writing an essay for a course about it and it winded up being around 3800 words so I figured I’d parlay all that research and effort into a little series to keep my post count rising for the wonderful Two Guys. I might be the third guy, but it don’t mean I ain’t a good writer!


Anyway, I wouldn’t put my 60th something note out there just for some plug for a future series and leave you hanging. So here are some short, not-so-well-thought-out end of the year notes for my NBA.


  • Celtics have looked lost without Kendrick Perkins in the line-up–wait, Perkins was injured all year for them? I think everyone seems to be forgetting the fact that Perkins has played 12 games for the C’s all year. So why are they struggling so much now? Was Perkins’ mere sitting on the bench that important for Doc Rivers’ ubuntu? Maybe. A lot of people want to say Rondo doesn’t care anymore because he’s upset that Perkins got traded and therefore he’s not himself. If that’s the case…
  • Holy moly Jeff Green. What a freaking awkward situation. Nobody wants you here. Everyone wants Perk back. I’ve been trying to say in so many different ways but I came up with the perfect analogy. It’s like an awesome episode of Wife Swap. Perkins is the tough as nails, drill sergeant who gets moved to a bunch of relaxed, joking and laid-back kids, while Jeff Green–who just raised those laid-back kids–is thrown into the army house where the kids have electroshock bracelets they put on themselves to make sure they don’t eat more than cookie for dessert. Perkins and the OKC dad (Kevin Durant) don’t really mesh well, but Durant doesn’t want to get in Perkins’ way so he kinda goes along with it but secretly gives the kids an extra candy before bed. Meanwhile, Green shows up stunned and tries to fit in but barely can as father (Kevin Garnett) goes on some angry tirade every night saying how Green is cancerous to his family and the American standards of family values. Presti and Ainge will swap back this off-season and NBA Entertainment is secretly shooting a reality series that will come out next winter. Player Swap coming to NBATV this winter!
  • I don’t know what the Mavs were thinking by playing Roddy Beaubois this season. He easily could have not existed and they would be better off. They should have paid him to spend the NBA season in LA just relaxing. He was their best chip. He was the autographed baseball and they played with him because all the other damn baseballs were too old (Jason Kidd), square shaped (Shawn Marion), literally exploded (Caron Butler) or from the Serbian Baseball League (Peja). So, yeah they wanted to play baseball–and the autographed, priceless baseball was the only one left. Beaubois had such high value around the league and the Mavs’ constant desire to not trade him only boosted his value. Dumb GMs were like “wait, if the Mavs won’t trade him–he must be AMAZING”. His stock was through the roof! Not only that but they had a secret intimidation factor from him. Analysts could say “the Mavs aren’t in the elite of the West yet” and they could shoot right back and be like “wait, until we showcase Beaubois–the only man we won’t trade”. And everyone was like “Holy &%$#, once they get Beaubois they’re going to be unstoppable.” Should have traded him or left him in that pristine condition. He was the only basketball player in the world who’s value grew higher and higher the more he didn’t play.
  • Read some Tweets a couple nights ago from CPU Hollinger (who has 4 spelling mistakes all time on his Twitter account and never double posts) and Holly Mackenzie talking about how Greg Oden was featured in the broadcast booth during a Blazers’ game and said that he won’t be able to run until September. Run. Seriously? And even though the owners are jabbering on and on about how the players are getting paid too much somebody is going to give Oden some ridiculous contract this summer. You just know someone will. At least if Kevin Love leaves, Minnesota can have the best team in the league of players that have enormous potential but will never ever play a game for them. I smell a Kahn trade for Roddy Beaubois. Could you imagine having Oden, Rubio and Beaubois just sitting on your injured reserve list every night? Frightening for other teams. They could steal the league title from Orlando and 7 time league MVP Fran Vasquez.


Another non-NBA point. I think we officially need to start making it socially acceptable to like or comment on Facebook statuses from years ago that appear in the “Memorable Statuses” box at the top right. First, I think it’s brilliant. There is so much golden unintentional comedy within there. I can’t tell you how many of those that I have read and the comments have been so funny or that it’s brought up old jokes I used to make etc. Anyway, the point is I am making an official decree that it is socially acceptable to post-like or post-comment on these things. Facebook has dug up a gold mine of things that our friends sounded so stupid doing but thought would be buried forever. Please, people. Post-like and post-comment!


Also, a reminder, new series (it’s gonna be a series…like different parts. I haven’t decided how many yet) on early entry in the NBA.


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