First off, I’ll welcome guest writer Steven Lampert to Two Guys and a Sports Blog. I pitched the idea to Steven that instead of coming up with a mock draft in which we predict where each player will land, we would pretend to be the GMs of each lottery team, alternate selections and make the decisions that we see best fit. Given our lack of media credentials and absurdly fanatical obsession with the NBA Draft, this was the best route to take. So we’ve been exchanging emails and pretending to be GMs in the lottery for the past day or so and this is what we’ve come to.
Steven won the lottery (a coin flip) and thus earned the right to put himself in the hate-filled shoes of Cavs owner Dan Gilbert, while I earned the honour of putting myself into the mind of David Kahn and making a selection for the Timberwolves.
Remember, this isn’t who we think they will take but rather who we think they should take.
Without further ado…the Cavaliers are now on the clock.
The Cleveland Cavaliers select G Kyrie Irving
Steven: Year 1 of post-Decision turned out just as expected for the Cavs- finishing at the bottom of the league. So, Dan Gilbert has his own decision to make with the first overall pick this Thursday in the 2011 NBA draft. All indications point to the Cavs selecting Kyrie Irving with that first overall pick. After the “Decision,” the Cavs were left without an identity and a big three consisting of Manny Harris, Christian Eyenga and Samardo Samuels. Intimidating, I know. Irving will help the Cavs establish a new identity and a new start of sorts. While he doesn’t project to have the same impact as previous top pick point guards Derrick Rose and John Wall, he is the best player in this draft. Barring any shockers, Dan Gilbert and his staff will be making the right “Decision.”
The Minnesota Timberwolves select F Derrick Williams
Alex: My first move as Timberwolves General Manager is to retract all over excessive hype around Ricky Rubio and create a new ad campaign entitled: “Let’s be realistic with Ricky”. My second move is to send Dan Gilbert a gift basket for taking Kyrie Irving. After hosting the Minnesota equivalent of the Heat “Yes We Did” party for Rubio (a bunch of cheerleaders at the airport), the last thing we needed to do was pick another point guard. Thank you!
If I can’t trade the pick, I’m sticking with Derrick Williams but Enes Kanter is getting a real look here. I really hate holding 3 tweeners on my team (Anthony Randolph, Michael Beasley and Williams) but Williams has star potential and I’m going to swing for the fences and hope he can keep Love in Minnesota. Kanter makes sense because he can bang inside and the Wolves need a true 5, but I’m afraid of the whole ‘I-haven’t-played-a-game-in-a-year’ thing going with Enes. Too much bust potential. And I recently listened on a podcast that Chad Ford saw some Darko in him. So yes, Derrick Williams. We don’t need two Darkos. I’m quivering at the thought.
The Utah Jazz select G Brandon Knight
The Washington Wizards select F Jan Vesely
Side Note: I’m hoping when Jimmer gets drafted, he shakes hands with David Stern and then proceeds to announce to the world that he slept with the entire BYU cheerleading team while attending BYU. Now that would be awesome. Mormons 4 lyfe.
The Detroit Pistons select C Jonas Valanciunas
Alex: So…the guys who own a bunch of casinos have turned to the Mormon for help. Jimmer could allow the Maloofs to keep casinos in Vegas running–what a nice Mormon boy! I think the Maloofs are at Satanic levels in Provo, which, by their standards, would make Brandon Davies the much better fit in Sacramento.
The Charlotte Bobcats select C Bismack Biyombo
Steven: Well, we now have the Jonas brother front court in Detroit. Too many lulz to follow with that duo.We shift our focus to Charlotte. Our roster has very few pieces and no real identity. Heck, all we have going for us is that we can say MJ is running our team. Is that even something to be proud of? Many have pegged Kawhi Leonard at this spot, simply because he projects to be very similar to Gerald Wallace. However, the Bobkittens most striking need is inside, where none other than KWA-ME Brown resides. I think its pretty self-explanatory why a replacement is needed. Reports indicate that Charlotte may be looking to take an established college vet who is NBA ready, such as Marcus Morris. But, as the Mavs proved this playoffs, the key to any defence is to protect the rim. Enter Bismack Biyombo.
All we need is Marv Albert to move to Charlotte and announce every Bobcats game. “OH MY GOODNESS, BIS-MACK BI-YOM-BO!!!!!”
The Milwaukee Bucks select G Klay Thompson
Alex: I think you had a typo in your last email. You said: “Biyombo doesn’t need shots to be effective”. I think you meant: “Biyombo should never ever ever ever shoot the ball”. One of the best lines after the Biyombo’s solo Euro workout was that “Biyombo played one-on-none…and lost”.
You realize if MJ makes this pick that Biyombo is an auto-bust, right? It’s amazing how the greatest player ever can’t find a good player himself (Adam Morrison, Kwame Brown). It’s like he picks good players and destroys their confidence and ability in order to preserve his greatness. Over/under 4.5 Kwame Brown mentions at the draft?
(Editor’s note: MAMMA, THERE GOES THAT MAN!)
Steven: So let me get this straight, John Hammond adds Klay Thompson to a group that includes Carlos Delfino, Corey Maggette, John Salmons and Chris Douglas-Roberts. And don’t forget Michael Redd! Pure U-G-L-Y.Golden State we go, where Mark Jackson takes over a defensively challenged Warriors team. Steph Curry, Monta Ellis and David Lee on the same team? No, not surprising they can’t guard a pylon. Jerry West and crew should aim to find a tough, defensive minded player who will help the team on that end of the court. They will gladly grab Kawhi Leonard, who gives them exactly what they are lacking. A bit of a slide for Leonard, maybe due to his unflashy game, which is perfect for this GSW team.
Alex: Tristan’s a great pick for the Suns. They need interior help and he’s perfect for them. I’m giving you an A+ on that one. And now, I get to make my most irrational pick of the night. Yes, Morehead State’s Kenneth Faried.I know he doesn’t fit on the depth chart with Scola but I don’t care. I need to get my Faried argument out there.
Of all the players that we’ve been blabbering about there is one stone cold lock of this draft. Irving? Nope. Derrick Williams? Try again. Kenneth Faried.
All I hear about this draft is uncertainty, busts and long-term projects. Faried has everything you want in an energy role player. Insane rebound numbers? He beat Tim Duncan’s NCAA rebounding records. Great motor? Did you watch Morehead State and Louisville…Faried looks like a man on a mission! His hair flops around so people will think he hustles even more than he does. Not only that but he’s got an amazing attitude. Down to earth, hard-working, wants to play a role kind of player. The epitome of blue collar. Can’t you envision in Faried in a playoff game playing 18 minutes and grabbing 5 offensive rebounds and absolutely crushing the other team’s morale with a non-stop energy assault?
For Houston, I’m not sure it’s a great fit. But you know what? I’m all about collecting assets and in a draft that looks like there aren’t very many assets I’m picking a sure thing and getting something of value at 14.
I want the Klay Thompson pick back. That’s really it. And I wish I would have won the coin flip so I could take Derrick Williams and force you to pick Irving. Well there’s always next year…
Alex: We’ll meet up again around this time again next year to look back at our picks and likely wonder how we missed out on Donatas Motiejunas and his stellar Rookie of the Year campaign.I’m sure this will be jammed with comedy in 12 months from now.Thanks Steven, hope to see you on TGSB more often in the future.
Alex: Well, I think this wraps up my blogging run until September. I just want to give my thanks to Myles Dichter and Norm Yallen for asking me to join TGSB (and the rest of our never-ending list of writers). Also, a thank you to Dustin Pollack at Beating The Buzzer sports for allowing me to syndicate my NBA content on his website. Lastly, thanks to all the readers–I know you’re out there somewhere and I apologize for my sometimes long and never-ending columns but we made it! It’s been a blast writing these and I hope everyone stays tuned for when TGSB re-launches in September.